I am not a mule.

It's early in the morning, and I can't sleep. I've been up for a few hours already, tossing and turning in my bed...I suppose in anticipation? Some people would say I'm excited to be moving back in at school. I'm not quite sure it's all excitement.

My freshman year certainly had its bumps. It was an emotional journey for me, though sometimes I feel I was being too dramatic about it all. A lot of people say that college (and growing experiences in general) is an opportunity for "self-discovery." It sounds grand, doesn't it? I feel it is rarely pointed out that you must lose yourself first in order to discover it. Or if not lose yourself completely, at least lose your footing. (For some reason, I have the urge to say here, "I am not a mule! I am not sure-footed. I am bound to lose my footing.)

I am hoping that this year will be different. I want to say, "I hope this year will be better," but I think by saying that I would make my frosh year sound much worse than it actually was. I realize a lot of the mistakes that I made last year, and I am a staunch believer in the idea that recognition of the problem is a good step towards bettering yourself.

This all must sound very vague. I do have specifics that I am thinking of--even specific ideas about what exactly I want to try to do differently this year. But I am hesitant to share them here. Part of me feels embarrassed to share them, and part of me is scared to say them in case I fail miserably. Hahahaha I am not a mule, but perhaps I'm a chicken.

Until later, my friends.